I am Crying No
More
By Fekade Shewakena
Nov 14, 2002
It is hard to express the
feeling that goes on in me right now. It certainly does not look like the
feeling of empathy for I know how it feels. I have been there before and
experienced it. I know how compassion feels but it is different from what I am
in now. I was there more than once - there in, Bati and Kobo and Dessie and
Kemisse and in the Gerado valley in the midst of a full-blown famine raging in
full swing killing people like flies. I had wept then till I was drenched in my
tears. At that time crying and sharing whatever coins I had in my pockets even
if it was meaningless gave me some meaning. Who said tears don’t help. I think
it helps keep some sanity when things go so unimaginably tragic. It can help
you elude yourself and gives you the feeling that you are helpful while you are
totally helpless. I am afraid that I cannot cry now. I am not feeling like it
at all. If anything, I now feel sick- sick down to the stomach and angry and
outraged or may be a combination of these all. I wish I could cry but I am
afraid that is not the feeling running in me now. May be I have ran out of
tears. May be I am so far away across the Oceans to feel the real agony. My
eyes are now as dry as the desert. 
I just saw a pictures on my
computer screen, of two beautiful children with their muddy faces fighting it
on to survive for a day or two and the mother who waits for her child to die in
her arms. I just saw a skeletal picture of a dying man staring with his
piercing eyes on the Economist that carries the title Bad
weather, bad government, worst leader . The old man’s eyes are so
penetrating that he seemed he wants to blame it on me or extract something out
of me. I can’t understand why he looks like intimidating to me and even scaring
the hell out of me. Frankly I was afraid of him and felt like running away. I
used to cry when I saw people like him and I think I saw at least one like him
in 1984. I flipped to another website instead and saw the footages on the BBC
website of the child who is reported to being resigned to even chase the fly
sitting on his eyes and told the BBC reporter that he expects to die in a few
days and before any food arrives in the village. I also saw the sorry face of
my country’s Prime Minister and his begging mouth trying to seek out help from
the world. The last time I saw his picture was when he was trying to outthink
the thinkers of Addis Ababa University, my former workplace. (Thank you god for
saving me the agony of sitting and listening to all that farce). Watching him
beg, I felt like lashing out against him. But a part of the rational me said
why should he take the blame alone. He is only the latest face in a series of
begging leaders. And what about all the rest of us who have studied how other
people solved their problems, even far more serious problems, and have allowed
this to occur not once but so repeatedly? Shall we all go free blaming it on
someone? I answered it no. If we are to solve this problem we have to begin by
agreeing that a big crime is committed. People have died in mass of hunger and
somebody or some entity must be held responsible and indicted. Somebody, some
entity has committed a repeated crime against humanity in Ethiopia and we
should not let it get away with mass murder. I am led to believe that this is
the first order of business if we are committed to solve this degrading and
shameful tragedy from happening again. I am not for the blame it on someone
game. I will stand and get counted to take my responsibility. I am tired of
making accusations but for one last time let’s find the real culprit and make
the indictment. What has gone so wrong and who is doing this to this beautiful
country?
Don’t add to my sickness
telling me the reason is the weather. This is a tired and sick joke. This is a
human failure, and humans have to take the blame. This is the real name of the
problem. I believe this is the truth whether one likes it or not. In fact, one
set of criminals are those that blame the weather in an attempt to try to hide
the real culprit. These people are lying through their teeth and should be held
responsible for their lie. In 1973 the dergue and all of us blamed the famine
on the Emperor and the emperor’s men blamed it on the weather. In 1984 I have
heard the guys in power now speak full mouth blaming the dergue for the famine,
the dergue blamed it on the weather. Now the Meles and his people blame it on
the weather. The critics blame it on its policies. How ironic that the more
things change the more they remain the same. The same television set the same
pictures only new beggars. This is a sickening game and it more than stinks.
Frankly the weather has
nothing to do with our famine. I repeat! the weather has nothing to do with our
famine. I am a student of Geography and understand my trade very well and can
argue this point successfully. I can point to you countries that do not see a
gallon of rain dropping on their land but have not had famine. You don’t have
to be a food producer country not to be struck by famine for that matter. I
have seen far more sever droughts that occurred in many parts of the world and
have not caused a case of hunger let alone famine that kills people in mass.
South East Asia lives under the same monsoon today as it use for very many
years, but look at the long way they came trough to trash famine out of their
system and that only in a few decades. I can go on and on and on with similar
examples.
I am of the feeling that
Ethiopia’s entire elite has to be on trial. Of course, first in the line of
trial have to be the government officials who have made it their primary job to
keep themselves in power rather than the welfare of the people. Of course,
their crime is serious because they have been presiding over our misery in many
cases tying the hands of people who want to make a difference. Their lies and
sorry excuses must be punishable. I have heard EPRDF officials for example
priding themselves for running a good early warning system of famine. These
guys should be ashamed of it for their only job is preparing the country for
early begging rather than fighting the root cause. Why can’t they think of
begging as something unacceptable and humiliating in the first place and use
the resource in that direction. Why do we need that RRC, or what ever is its
name today? Why do we need institutions that lord over famine in the first
place? What have these institutions done so far except institutionalizing
famine and beggary? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to have an Institute of Famine
Eradication instead of the Early Warning System or the Relief and
Rehabilitation Commission, which by the way consume huge resources themselves
then becoming part of the problem rather than the solution? Why on earth should
Ethiopia, the water tower of Eastern Africa, the land of hundreds of perennial
rivers go hungry even for a day? Can’t we spend ten years working on one or two
of the big river basins, which can more than feed the whole country? Don’t tell
me that need capital and technology. Everyone knows that. Better beg for the
damn technology and capital and squeeze the country’s resources once and work
on both sides of the hand for ten years than become perennial and shameless
beggars. Make it a policy priority and any average economic planner can tell us
how to do it. Countries have dug their way out of this kind of messes. Why
can’t we? We have to dig ourselves out of this mud and, believe it or not,
there is no other way out.
And there are those of us
who only know how to complain and do not come up with a problem solving idea. I
mean those of us who are educated and pride and congratulate ourselves with our
educational achievements and success in life. Those of us who believe that our
education is a license to escaping the fait of the unfortunate victims and an
end in itself, particularly those of us in Diaspora who seem to have shed all
senses of responsibility. How about those of us who have done nothing if any to
stop the famine except playing the blame game? Don’t tell me you have
contributed money in the past or you have cried. That was not the way to become
part of a solution. Criminal are also those of us who try to hide ourselves in Ethiopia’s
history - in Yohannes, Menilik or Tewodros and the glory of the Battle of Adwa
as if these can be turned into a slice of bread or a drop of water now.
And of course the demon
that has possessed Ethiopia for so long has to be tried. The demon that makes
the country eat her children? Don’t ask me how, but I feel the demon that made
us worship guns and hatred and cruelty has to be tried and punished one way or
another. The demon that made the Abay River disgorge the mass of our soil and
water outside of Ethiopia has now made another river out of airplanes that
carry away and disgorge the country’s children in Europe and America. Here is
my bigger fear. If everything and every criminal is left as is, I am sure there
will be another, perhaps bigger, famine down the line. You ain’t seen nothin’
yet, as my American brothers would say.
Those of you who want to
keep on crying you can go ahead and cry. Get drenched in your tears and you
will see what you can get. May be it helps you get over it for now. Rest
assured it won’t help you solve the problem. As for me, I have done that
already. I don’t want to look like an idiot any more. Even if I want to cry I
have tears no more